I was on my way to return the books I borrowed for my thesis paper. Turning my way down a slightly darker part of the room, where the books about Civil Wars were kept. I tried to find the same book code that will help me determine where the books I’m holding should be. The librarians are very strict to the books’ code and I’m obliged to put it back to where I took it.
“900—“I looked up to see the numbers higher till I spotted it. 926-931.
I took a book from the pile that I held close to my chest by an arm. I tiptoed to reach 7th shelf where the book on my hand should be placed—curse the absence of ladder on this section—but it was too high for me. I rested for a few seconds as I decided to give it another shot. My eyes widen when the tip of the book reach the surface. Now I just need to push further.
I hand slipped against mine—actually passing mine for that matter—and the book was in place. I slowly rested on my heels before I saw a slender arm in my peripheral vision. I was torn between turning back or not. I preferred the last.
“Lee Jinki…” I froze when he mentioned my name, a strange baritone voice whispered, my head spun and I felt light headed but I tried to remain still.
“That’s not me.” I clumsily muttered a lie. I imagined myself banging my head on the bookshelf for thinking such lame things at that time. I would’ve done it right away if only I don’t feel an ominous aura from the stranger behind me.
I saw his arm beside my head leave then it clung around my waist making me shudder as it passed on my stomach. I wanted to scream but before I wondered doing it, I was facing the man and kissing him.
His eyes were shut and mine was all wide from shock. I felt paralyzed from the sensation which was very unnerving and the common reflex to push the other person away—anyone would thought of it—didn’t occur to me. I was fine feeling it and it scares me. I don’t know the guy and even if I do I wouldn’t know because the room suddenly looked darker when I first entered it.
My eyes were rested on him when he pulled away. I examined as much visible feature of him present in my line of view. He looked familiar but at the same time mysterious. He had his eyes pasted on me but I don’t know in what kind of way because his eyes were just dark orbs in the darkness.
I held my books closed to my chest and stepped backward only to hit the shelf behind me slightly. The sound something might drop occurred to me and I moved away to avoid it from happening only to get pinned down the nearby table on cue when I took a single step to the side. The books on my hand flew off on the side and I followed it till it hit the floor.
“Yah!” I grunted—I have to pay for the books if it was damage—angrily. My anxiety had finally left the building and I started to struggle under him. He was hovering above me and if I was seeing him his figure in the right way, he was definitely slimmer than me. He was just lengthier. I tried to move around and throw him on the side or make him fall backward but I froze when I felt that I can’t hurt him. I never hurt someone. I hesitated.
I loosened my grip over him and I saw his grin that revealed his porcelain teeth. I didn’t like it. I felt threatened by it. I quickly gripped him again thinking that I have to hurt someone at times—in my defense! But he looked like he senses my plan.
“A-ahh!” I felt his hand under my shirt and before I could further react my hands were instantly tied above me with my own shirt. I don’t know how he did it—in such position—but it prevented my hand to grip him now or do anything to him.
My face flushed from embarrassment and shame. I was half-bare in front of someone I don’t even know and it was a guy. I am straight! The last time I checked I was.
I never planned to go to an all boys’ school and I won’t go to it if my parents didn’t agree to make me study there. They said girls are distraction and they wanted me to concentrate on my studies. They also replied—when I told them I might get into bad peers and such—they knew I won’t be able to do such things because I was a good kid. They were right. I am a good kid. I’m even a responsive one.
I heard my self moaning as I felt him suck on my skin. My hand was on the back, his other hand firm on it. My thighs were on either of his side and his hips grind on it every now and then along with our aroused manhood.
I felt disgusted and I wanted to move away but also at the same time finding an appalled feeling of wanting to go on and ride the wave of sensation I fantasized on feeling for such a long time. Not being in any kind of relationship for my entire life must’ve caused my willingness to this. But it’s wrong.
I didn’t want to do this to someone. Not to this stranger. And also for the fact I know this was me getting desperate. I bit his lips that attempted to go in further as his tongue intended to play along with mine. I had to stop.
I finally had my strength to push him away; my hands tied didn’t make a difference. I was really stronger than him. I shuffled quickly away from that place. Luckily no one was at the hall as I rushed in, shirtless. I removed my shirt-cuffed hands and wore it afterwards. I was running aimlessly around the hall, letting my feet take me far away from the library. I turned to a corner, my anxiety was creeping back and my knees weakened causing me to fall flat on the floor. I tried to use my arms’ strength but it was useless as it was shaking from deep fear.
“Onew-hyung!” I heard a familiar voice from across the hallway. I looked north and saw two figures coming towards me. I assumed it was my cousin Taemin and my best friend Key.
I heard the school bell rang and it drilled inside my ear. I felt my head pulsate and before I really see those two up close, my vision turned instantly blank—my consciousness left me.